I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize