just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
