We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
