I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They have beer where we have blood.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
