I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think people are normalizing furries
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
