im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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