After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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