But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
