so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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