i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
