Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
