i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.