If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.