Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.