pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.