i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?