still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
