do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize