I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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