Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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