Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
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I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
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