you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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