What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
