dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
