It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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