My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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