She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
