Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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