we're blogging at a bar
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
