So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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