I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
