I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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