Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's blow job season.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
