I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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