It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
