woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
