you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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