Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Randomize
