I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
