My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
