sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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