Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
