you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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