3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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