Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
