i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
