Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
