Screwed.edu
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize