I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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