Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
