I need to stop coming to work sober
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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