whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
