Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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