if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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