ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
