we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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