the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
