why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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