discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
