Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
