I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
