But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
