Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
