I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
